I have hesitated to share this story because money is an awkward topic. But after several days, I have decided to embrace the discomfort in order to share this story of God's faithfulness, just like He's allowing us to do in so many areas right now.
As you may know, Matt stepped away from his role as Executive Pastor in December. We were and are confident that it was the next right thing for our family, even thought God hadn't given us the exact next steps. We have been traveling and speaking, and he's doing some alone as well; but for the most part, my income has been our only income for the last three months. I have two small businesses that I've had to rebuild since I barely did anything for them during the months Will was in treatment. The risk has been scary as well as one of the biggest gifts of our spiritual lives.
God has been so faithful and gracious to allow us to see how He truly supplies our daily bread. We have been writing down every instance so we never forget- from a large check we thought we'd deposited months ago but hadn't(!) to meals paid for anonymously to an unexpected free oil change and on and on. I've been crying a lot. Overwhelmed and grateful.
We know our next steps now. And sometimes we question if we've completely lost our minds. We go from excitement to fear to faith to doubt and back again. And then something like this happens and brings us to our knees with humility and gratitude once again.
I was paying bills last Thursday. Health insurance is our second largest monthly expense (and will be our largest beginning in June after our last tuition payment for three kids has been paid). I went to pay the insurance bill Thursday night, and my online account wouldn't allow me to pay it. Frustrated, I called on Friday from my car, and it was a good thing I was parked.
Our insurance has been paid through July.
The customer service agent couldn't tell us how it happened or by whom, but it's paid.
I cried like a baby in the parking lot of Sam's. What a good God we serve. Yes, He supplies our needs. He gives us our daily bread. But he also meets us in our doubts and fears and gives us confirmation when He doesn't have to.
I'm not sure what to even say except this.
If God is calling you to risk, take it. If He's calling you to a tiny step toward Him, go. If He's whispering or shouting to go love your neighbor (and He is), do it.
We can do this together.